a few weekends ago i had a conversation with a few friends about relationships . the conversation came about when a friend of a friend revealed that he has been facing some big hurdles in his engagement to his fiance . he explained that he has been faithfully praying to God for reconciliation . yet, the more he prays, the more he finds that his situation is becoming more complicated and difficult to bear, making him wonder whether God is actually telling him to reconcile by walking away . although it was painfully obvious to me that he need to dump her crazy ass, the conversation did make me think about the way Christians deal with relationships, or think they're supposed to deal with them . as Christians, it seems as though we often feel compelled to struggle through relationships - be it with friends, significant others, churches, family - during the worst of times . but how do we know when God is telling us to walk away instead ? is it "Christian" to walk away ?
pastor francis' sermon on sunday made me think about all of this some more . the sermon was based on matthew 5:31-33 -- " It has been said, 'Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce .' But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery . " in a nutshell, pastor francis explained that, for Jesus the focus was not so much on divorce and adultery, but on the concept of marriage - the way we value marriage determines our perception of divorce and adultery . for Jesus, marriage is a permanent bond that cannot be erased simply by laws that legalize divorce with a certificate, which is why divorce leads to adultery . this of course is a metaphor for God's faithfulness to us . despite how sinful we may be or how frequently we may stray, God remains steadfast and our relationship with Him, permanent . pastor francis went on to say that in addition to our relationship with God, the best measure of our spiritual growth are our relationships with one another, and he called us to love by struggling through even the toughest relationships in our lives .
so after hearing that, i became much more confused . is it a sin to hang on persistently to a suffering relationship, or is it a sin not to be ready and willing to weather the storm ? can we ever even completely sever the relationships we create if we choose not to endure ? or are we bound to them eternally, perhaps even if only by a painful or nostalgic memory ? maybe it goes back to simply doing whatever God is telling us to do . but that isn't so easy either . i don't know about you, but my ears aren't very good at listening . and even if they were, my warped brain and stubborn heart tend to do whatever it is that i want . i suppose the best thing that any of us can do, is what my friend's friend has been doing - pray pray pray .
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